When I talk with moms, I often hear them say, "I'm never in any pictures" or "I'm always the one behind the camera." Moms are usually the least photographed person in the family, and I think there are two reasons for this:
One, they usually have the primary responsibility of being the memory-keepers in the family. At birthday parties, family vacations, sports events, and even simple everyday moments, mom is often the one with the camera and capturing those memories. This means that she is often conspicuously absent from pictures of these occasions.
Aside from this, some moms also don't want to be photographed because they don't like how they look. Moms are known for being hard on themselves and trying to avoid the camera. This could be because of their own feelings about their weight, wrinkles, hair or other insecurities.
But there are a lot of good reasons to get over your fears and try to get in front of the camera. Here are a few of the most important ones:
You have more value than you realize
Let's be honest: moms often put themselves last. Every week, in dozens of ways, you give up sleep, sanity, and time for your kids. You may sometimes feel bad about spending money or time on yourselves, but you don't think twice about spending money on your family members. You clean up after everyone and keep track of doctor's appointments and parent-teacher conferences. You make dinner, walk the dog, organize carpools, and make sure everyone has clean clothes to wear. Even if your partner is helpful and supportive, women often bear the heavier weight of responsibility caring for everyone in the home — and that leaves little time and energy for yourself. You are stressed out and worn out.
You DESERVE more, though. Mom, you are so important to your family and to the world as a whole. You offer your family a unique set of skills, talents, interests, and energy. You deserve to spend time and effort on yourself. You deserve to be the center of attention once in a while and to be cared about by someone else. And you deserve to be in the pictures with your family. Not only for your kids, but also for you! You have incredible value, not just as a mom and a keeper of all the things, but also as a person, just as you are right now.
Your kids will want pictures of you
One of my favorite things is looking through old family photo albums. I love seeing pictures of my mom when she was young, kissing my baby cheeks or pushing me on the swings while I smiled with joy. But will things be very different for the current generation of children? What will they see when they look at pictures from their childhood, if they can even access those pictures with the technology that will be available. Will you be there, flaws and all, as a part of the photographic record of their childhood? Will they see your love for them reflected in your eyes? Or will you be noticeably absent, either because you're always behind the camera or because your insecurities keep you from stepping in front of the lens? This is exactly why you should make it a priority to be in family pictures. It might not seem like a big deal right now, but when your kids are older and go to find these pictures, it will be too late. So now is the time to take pictures with your kids. There will never be a better time to create portraits that your kids and grandkids will love even after you're gone.
Your family loves you just the way you are
A lot of women don't like how they look in pictures. We are very hard on ourselves and focus on the things we feel bad about. We can always find something to criticize about ourselves, like a double chin, wrinkles, gray roots, or a little extra weight. This often keeps us away from the camera lens. Most people aren't very good at taking flattering pictures, and phone cameras make this even harder. The wide angle of the lens tends to distort the pictures and bring out our flaws. So every time we see a bad picture, we think it's because we are unphotogenic. In fact, how we look in a portrait depends on how well we are posed, lit, and angled. How you stand in relation to the light, how good the light is, and how you position your body all make a huge difference in how the final picture turns out. It's not you! I promise! Work with a photographer who knows how to pose and light, and you'll be amazed at how much more you like your photos. And don't forget that your kids don't care at all if you have a few extra wrinkles or a few extra pounds. We tend to get stuck on things like this, but your kids just want to see YOU, the mom who holds them when they're sad, plays with them when they're happy, and is always there for them. They want to see your love for them in a picture, not you as a picture-perfect supermodel. So don't be too hard on yourself. You are perfect the way you are, and you deserve to exist in photos with your children.
Tomorrow is not a given
This is a hard subject to talk about without sounding morbid, and I get that. It's hard to think about a time when we might not be with our families. But whether that day comes soon or a long time from now, our family will only have the photos and videos we leave behind to remember us by. You might not have put much thought into portraits until now, but it's not too late to start. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to forget how important something is. But after years of working as a Spokane, Washington family photographer, I've learned one thing: the million things on your to-do list today won't matter in the long run. But leaving behind a photographic legacy when you're gone? That's something that's really important and always worth the time it takes.
So, how do you start to show up in photos?
First, give the camera or phone to someone else and get in the picture with your kids. Do this at the park, when you're baking cookies, or when you're taking a walk with your family. Don't worry if the results aren't good enough to hang on the wall. Even taking pictures of "boring" or "everyday" things is a gift to your children.
It's also important to get in front of a professional's camera often so you love the resulting images. Remember that a photographer's eye can help bring out your best features by optimizing the lighting, posing, and expression, so it's worth it to work with someone who knows exactly what they're doing. I'd be delighted to help you with this and show you just how beautiful you are! Use my contact form to get in touch, and let's talk about making you some gorgeous portraits.
Next, print your family pictures. No one can say what technology will be like in 20, 30, or 40 years. If you want your children and grandchildren to be able to see pictures of you, you should get prints and keep them in a safe place. If you have a professional photographer do the printing, the colors won't fade and the paper won't warp, so you can be sure that your portraits will still be bright and beautiful years from now.
Last, but not least, don't wait until it's too late. You can only show up in the visual record for your family if you prioritize it regularly. And think about the kinds of pictures your kids will want to keep. Make sure you get traditional, posed portraits, but also try to get more candid images of you with each kid. When they look at a portrait and see you laughing, smiling, or cuddling with them and their siblings in a picture, they will remember how much you love them!
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